August 2, 2009

Singles Searching for Love


By KATHY GAILLARD
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Reality shows are part of today’s pop culture. There are reality shows on dating, relationships and families. There are reality shows about survival, dancing and becoming an American Idol. There is, however, one reality that seems to have escaped this phenomenon—the reality that it is possible to be single and satisfied. Believe it or not, there are women (and men) who have jobs, homes, families and friends, who are not looking for relationships to define, enhance or "complete them."

Here’s a bit of reality: Nothing on the external—relationships, money or material possessions— can make you happy, if you are not happy with yourself. Too many singles are allowing the world to define their happiness. They watch soap operas and reality shows, and use those unrealistic portrayals about life, happiness, relationships and marriage as a gauge of success. Too often, these same individuals are the ones who, when their reality short-circuits, or doesn’t live up to the hype, end up in divorce court, or miserable in marriages.

Marriage or being in a relationship does not make or define a person. In this hi-tech society there’s the acronym GIGO, which means garbage in, garbage out. Simply put, if your personal house—mental, physical and spiritual—is in shambles, no one or nothing will change that. You get out of life, what you put into it.

Marriage should be rooted in biblical principles. It can be a wonderful experience when it is what God intended it to be, but it’s not for everyone. There’s a rude awakening awaiting those who enter into marriage with the expectation that "someone" will make them happy.

The center of a person’s joy can come from having and nurturing a personal relationship with God. The joy of salvation is an untouchable, unfathomable, unspeakable happiness that supersedes the reality of any earthly relationship. It’s a joy and happiness that allows one to fellowship and enjoy friendship, in the face of adversity. It enables a person to remain grounded and rooted, when his world may appear to be turned upside down with trials and circumstances. Relationships fail, people disappoint, possessions dwindle or depreciate, but faith and a personal relationship with God can provide that ever elusive joy.

Christians who are waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right should relax. Instead of throwing pity parties or putting life on hold with the expectation that joy and happiness come only with marriage, do what needs to be done to make yourself happy! Don’t allow the world to define happiness for you. Don’t miss out on the pleasures of life by going through it searching for love, but rather, learn to give love and love yourself. Don’t buy into the hype!

Kathy Gaillard is a Christian writer for examiner.com. Visit Kathy’s home page for more great articles at http://www.examiner.com/x-16376-Norfolk-NonDenominational-Christian-Examiner
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